Moments of Grief
by AnonymousDuo
Summary: Everybody has something that they regret. Even Bellatrix Lestrange. One-shot. R&R please? :D


**This is my first Bella fic :P The idea sort of came to me :) Inspired by reading other stories about Bella in Azkaban :D**

Cold.

Bellatrix Lestrange felt the cold wind whip through the prison bars. Each gust of wind was like a slap across the face. She huddled in a corner, utterly humiliated to cower in such a position.

A Dementor swept past and she shuddered. The only spark of life that kept her alive was the thought of the Dark Lord.

He could not be dead, killed by that Potter boy. He was alive. And when he was strong enough, he would come back for her.

He was her only glimmer of hope.

Or so she told herself.

It was an especially cold night. She clutched her skinny knees and surveyed the roughly made calendar at her feet.

She had broken off a stone and crudely scratched a calendar during her first week in Azkaban. She spent a few moments calculating the date.

Then she froze.

Every year, on this day, Bellatrix would be hit by a wave of grief so strong that she would burst out sobbing and collapse on the floor. The great Bellatrix Lestrange would turn into a total wreck each November.

_"Happy birthday, Dromeda." _She said silently, tears trickling down her face.

Another gust of wind hit her and she shivered, half-unconscious due to the cold and her grief.

_"No, Bella, give it back!" 9 year old Andromeda yelled, running after her sister._

_Bella laughed, a tinkling, ecstatic laugh. Andromeda laughed and jumped on Bella. The two girls wrestled for a while and Bella playfully gave up. Andromeda snatched her Quill from Bella and stuck out her tongue._

_7 year old Narcissa joined the two in the garden. Bellatrix smiled at her._

_"Bella! Pack your trunk!" Their mother yelled. She walked into the garden._

_"You... you're leaving already?" Andromeda stammered. "I thought you were leaving tomorrow."_

_"I am leaving tomorrow. I need to pack." Bella rolled her eyes._

_Andromeda stared at Bella, frightened and wide-eyed. Bella could see how much her younger sister was going to miss her._

_Bella knelt down and looked into Andromeda's eyes. "Listen, in two years, you'll be at Hogwarts too! It's not going to be very long."_

_Andromeda nodded, biting her lip._

_"You can have this to take to Hogwarts." She offered her Quill._

_Bella was inclined to laugh, but she noted Andromeda's serious expression. She took the Quill solemnly and smiled at her sister fondly._

Bella pushed the memory aside.

Her sister was a blood-traitor. Nothing could change that.

She traced the carving on the floor. Little Andromeda was 41 years old! Thirty years since she'd been at Hogwarts.

_"Slytherin!" The Sorting Hat roared._

_Bella literally swelled with pride. "That's my sister" She'd tell anyone who would listen._

_Andromeda shyly ran up to the Slytherin table and sat down next to her sister. Bellatrix could not remember being happier or prouder of her sister._

Bellatrix let out a small sound.

Was she reduced to wallowing in grief and long-lost memories?

She was Bellatrix Lestrange, one of the most feared Death Eaters of the Dark Lord!

No other woman could claim to be as deadly or as feared as her.

But she would trade all of that fear for one woman's love.

_"Dromeda, please!" Narcissa pleaded._

_"Leave her, Cissy." Bella said in a voice that was not her own. "She's chosen her path."_

_"As you have chosen yours." Andromeda said contemptuously._

_"What can that Mudblood ever bring to you?" Bella broke out. "You deserve so much more, and you choose _him_?"_

_"Would you rather I chose you?" Andromeda asked angrily._

_"Yes." Bella said bluntly._

_Andromeda shook her head. "You've turned into a monster, Bella... that Rodolphus. I don't know what's come over you."_

_"You choose the Mudblood. You choose the Mudblood over the family that has loved you and cared for you more than he ever has, or he ever will!" Bella screamed._

_Narcissa was crying, silently begging her sister to stay._

_Andromeda's eyes flashed. "You're not the Bella you used to be! Look at yourself! Have you ever bothered to see what you've become, what you stand for?"_

_"I stand for our family!" Bella snapped. "I stand for pure-bloods, for wizards, for US!"_

_"Our family is not worth standing for!" Andromeda yelled. "We are a lot of muggle-hating, pure-blood maniacs! The Dark Lord is evil and twisted, and you are becoming just like him!"_

_Each word hit Bella like a gunshot. "Well, there's no changing your mind."_

_"No, there isn't." Andromeda agreed._

_The two sisters locked eyes and silently agreed on their mutual hatred._

_What had once been love and affection was turned into hate and revulsion._

_"Go." Bella said, contempt lacing her every word. "Leave, and never come back."_

_"No." Narcissa spoke finally. "Dromeda, _please_."_

_Andromeda shook her head sadly. "Goodbye, Cissy."_

_Suddenly Bella felt an urge to apologise. To take back all of her harsh words. To tell her sister to be happy, to forgive her._

_The desire to keep Andromeda near her was so strong that her lips actually parted and a small sound was let out._

_Andromeda turned to look at Bella._

_The hatred in her eyes was the final blow to Bellatrix. Her knees sagged and her spirits plummeted as her sister regarded her with utter revulsion. On the outside, Bella was scornful and sceptical. Inside, her heart was crumbling into tiny pieces and the remains of her decency turned to ash and scattered to the winds._

_Andromeda disapparated._

_Narcissa ran back inside, crying._

_Bella slowly sank to the ground, her face tear-free._

_She was too shocked, too numbed to react. In just a moment, their family had broken apart. Their family would never be the same._

_Something sharp poked her side as she moved._

_She reached into her pocket._

_Out came a crumpled and broken goosefeather quill._

_That was when the tears flowed._

Bella shook her head as though that would help to clear her thoughts. Her eyes were blurred with tears.

Suddenly, something inside her snapped. Something inside her hardened.

Her love for Andromeda was gone. It was buried beneath layers of steel and concrete and Bella would never feel it again.

Until one fatal day, over four years later.

* * *

><p>May 2nd, 1998<p>

Bellatrix danced gleefully on the tables. She loved vast, open spaces. They were such a change from the confinements of Azkaban.

She joined the fray and shot killing curses at random Hogwarts students, cackling gleefully. The commotion in the background was music to her ears.

"Harry! Where'd he go?"

"Colin! Colin, no! Wake up!"

"Mum?"

"Go upstairs, you're too young to fight!"

"He went there..."

"Mother? Where are you?"

"I don't want to-"

"Don't you argue with me!"

"MOTHER!"

Bellatrix turned because of the sheer volume of the shout.

A young witch stood before her.

Her niece.

Nymphadora Tonks.

Bellatrix watched as the expression on her niece's face turned to shock and horror.

"Do you miss your mummy?" Bellatrix teased.

Inside, the layers of steel and concrete were peeling away.

Tonks raised her wand. "Expellia-"

With a flick of her wand, Bellatrix knocked Tonks against the wall. Tonks's wand flew out of her hand.

Bellatrix laughed and raised her wand to cast the Killing Curse.

And then the final layer peeled away.

Bellatrix stumbled back a few steps.

_"Look at yourself!" _Andromeda's voice echoed in her head.

She pointed her wand shakily at Tonks, who was recovering.

_"You're not the Bella you used to be!"_

Tonks blinked her eyes blearily.

_"Have you ever bothered to see what you've become?"_

Tonks was reaching for her wand. Bella knew she should react.

_"Our family is not worth standing for!"_

Our family...

Time appeared to slow down. Bella stared at Tonks. Her family.

Possessed by a sudden fit of anger, Bella used an Unforgivable Curse on her niece.

"Crucio!"

Tonks screamed, dropping her wand. The torture lasted for barely a few seconds.

Bellatrix couldn't bring herself to actually torture her niece. She watched her niece shudder, trying to recover from the pain.

Bellatrix recalled her parting words to her sister. _"Leave, and never come back."_

Her sister was back. In the form of her daughter. Bella turned away. She would not be the one to turn on her own family.

She had scarcely moved a few steps when somebody yelled. "Avada Kedavra!"

Bellatrix whipped around, wand at the ready.

A horde of Death Eaters turned the corner and disappeared. Tonks's body stared at her from the floor, glassy-eyed.

"NO!" Bellatrix burst out. She choked on a sob.

One moment of grief.

She allowed herself one moment of grief.

Then she pushed forward into the battle, allowing her grief to turn into rage, which she channelled onto all of the people who could have saved her niece.

The last trace of Andromeda she would ever see.

**Phew. That took a while :S Review please? :D**


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